Behind the blend
I’m going to practice being vulnerable with you all in regard to my path through this life as Herbalist. It started out when I was young. I love nature. I always knew it healed though, I didn’t understand how then. Years later, as a young adult, I found my first plant medicine book in a second hand bookstore. I remember the moment I saw it on a shelf… Michael Moore’s Medicinal Plants of the Pacific Northwest. I saw it from across the room, and had to go to it.
I knew then, and I still know now, that the call from nature was behind this. Since I was a very young person, this plant path was written for me somewhere. Maybe one would call it destiny. BUT I know that bringing this beautiful form of medicine to the people, and for the people was going to be my life’s work. It is the medicine for you. It is the medicine of our small communities, our neighborhoods, that once upon a time were tribes. This Herbal Medicine path though, goes much deeper than just physiological benefits.
Cold and flu support are amazing for the natural world. Side by side, the nutritional value of our wild plants. I highly encourage the daily ingestion of these plants for the protection of our immune cells. Our microscopic army that is nourished by plant nutrients & animal proteins. Our wild allies. But there’s another component of herbalism that comes from something modern science still can’t put a finger on. This is the part that I am thoroughly captivated by.
In private practice I work with people through meditation and spiritual techniques through a more traditional style of Herbalism. This practice nourishes the responses to stress, severe anxiety, PTSD, & depression. A more Shamanic way of working with the plants. This realm of my work came from my own struggles through these types of conditions of human life.
Trauma hides in plain sight…
A few years ago I found myself in the midst of the end of a chronic life pattern. I was in my second obscenely toxic relationship. Through the end, I started to realize that I was a big aspect of this continuing pattern in my life. I realized that through my survival in these experiences I had to change my patterns. Fully absorbing that though, from outside perspective, I wasn’t what was wrong. Internally I knew the pattern I was in was coming from me.
This second toxic relationship nearly cost me my life. Physically and spiritually speaking. I did not share at that time what was actually going on. Mostly this was because of what these kinds of relationships do to a person. But in the end, I went home to my family and I retreated for 9 months. I went home to find peace, & to find myself again.
Sanctuary in Retreat…
During this time of retreat after my terrifying experience with another human being. I would have waking nightmares. Panic attacks in my sleep that when I woke up, I couldn’t breathe. During the day I could barely go out into society without crippling fear. Going into a store, or any place of business without having severe anxiety was a miracle during the first few months. My body would go ballistic with fear. Each of my nerve endings felt like they were on fire. I knew this was something that I had to work through. And this work would take time. So I went to the most perfect form of medicine I knew that was out there. Nature.
Taking the Dive…
The retreat to my home land reset & refocused my herbal self. I didn’t know at the time, but I later realized that this was essential to move forward. The pattern I was resetting, not only affected me, but it affected my way and through the world. My retreat turned into a dive into my lifelong work with herbs. I knew they were the ones to balance bodily functions. And, my child self knew there was a comfort in nature that couldn’t be explained.
I was always looking to help other people, and because of the pattern I had been in, this meant putting myself 3rd and 4th, even 5th behind the line of care. I so wanted to help other people but without healthy balance within myself, I couldn’t fully do this. Instead I found myself in abusive situations that only hardened the shell I was slowly becoming. Through my time of retreat I realized that to fully be present to help others, I had to help myself first.
I dove into my Herbalism practice with full resonance. With a shift from physical to etherical. I went back to the plants that called to something within my cells that couldn’t be scientifically explained. The trees, the roots, the special flowers that seem to be ancient, and full of wisdom. So much, that these plant beings seemed to bleed this wisdom into the spiritual veil some of us know to be certain.
Carrying Wisdom with me.
I started carrying a yarrow flower head in my medicine pouch. Knowing that through this constant connection, the wisdom held in yarrow would show me how to protect my spiritual boundaries. While maintaining an open, soft, & available heart space.. What I started to realize through this work was a fear I held for boundaries. I didn’t want to lose my softness, or my kind heartedness through strengthening my boundaries. Yarrow taught me how to tightly weave my energetic body to protect myself. All while remaining open to people who deserved my openness. But those who did not deserve to be in the inner circle. I was shown the way to a healthy response of No… are we even taught how to effectively say ‘No’?
Next came the trees. When I was a child, & during young adulthood, if I were in a time of emotional unrest I would always go to the trees. I had a particular Cedar that I would go and lay under in the forest in Oregon. During my childhood, there was a Hemlock tree in my Washington neighborhood. When I would lay under these beings, it was as if I were being held by the Earth. Wrapped in the arms of these wise souls. Then, I didn’t know what it meant, or why I was drawn to their energies. I just knew that when I was with these trees, I felt safe and nourished. Even when I was at my weakest points, those ethereal beings gave me strength.
These trees were such a powerful ally for me, even before I found my Herbalist path. Each time of my life journey, when I found myself breaking down patterns, to rebuild. Stronger & healthier than before. I would go to the plants, and the trees. Their wisdom poured into my spiritual body, bringing me back to life through nourishment of the soul.
Through this last rebuilding process, I started to develop meditation blends, and nourishing herbal preparations. My goal was to nourish, & give support. Not just stimulate & band-aid symptoms. Through my meditation practice, the blends were born. Listening to the whispers of the forest & divine energies that come through during times of peace. I would hear whispering from the plants.
These blends are not meant to simply calm down an anxiety attack. But soothe the body, to calm & listen to deeper messages as to what the root of our anxious state is. Our blends are an exploration of the nourishing side of spiritual herbalism. Working with the plant whispers, their wisdom. Plants are here to heal our bodies. Seen & unseen. Physical & spiritual.
Tree of wisdom
I wanted to explain, to you all, this blend many times over. And in fact, I wrote this draft over a year ago on my blog. But it went into the archives because I didn’t feel ready to share so much of my vulnerability. But now, I feel you understand me. And by this realization, I want YOU to better understand how, and why I approach my Herbal Practice the way I do. How experience in life as a human has pushed me into the depths of what Spiritual & Physiological Herbalism truly is.
Tree of Wisdom is a blend of the trees I would find myself running to for comfort. Cedar, alder, and elder. These tree beings are the elders of our forests. They hold the energies of grandparents, the strength, support and nourishment that comes from those people are within these trees. When I was waking up with panic attacks nearly every night. I couldn’t breathe, I would drop this blend into my mouth and find sleep again. Coming back into my body with the strength of these trees.
Born out of the strife of terrifying experiences to bring the supreme sense of calm. Designed to nourish the responses of a panic attack. Understanding that PTSD is real. Fully grasping where your anxiety is coming so that through meditation you can find your strength. Nourishing your cells from the nervous system overload with peaceful, restful sleep.
It is forest bathing in a bottle. The calming phenomena that occurs when resting under trees. With the Tree of Wisdom blend, you have this sensation in your pocket.