This is a known aspect of life isn’t it. One that we are raised knowing as we see our mammas go through the time of vibrancy. Sometimes we get to see their bellies grow with siblings to come, and grandma watching as the crone of our existence.
We glow and glisten with anticipation of the time when we will enter into new phases of being woman. When we become the creatress. When it comes, in our modern times, that heavy first moon cycle is actually terrifying. I think that I completely forgot what I was supposed to be expecting when my first time came to bleed.
It Showed Up…
Truly I was completely embarrassed, and didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t even bring my young self to tell my mamma what was happening. Went to school with the largest pit in my stomach knowing that I was bleeding profusely, and wondering… Would I just pass out on the bus? Did I need to go to the hospital?
There was so much blood, and it wouldn’t stop for the life of me I tried to will it away. All of this excitement and urning for it then, the day came and I wished I had never wanted it. Even that I didn’t have to do it at all! Where is the choice? Why is life so scary? And damn it I hurt… on the inside, in ways I never thought I would hurt.
I did calm down. And at 12 years old, being at the beginning of the curve of when ‘supposed to’, the trauma subsided and I felt like I was finally there. It was also around this time, that I had my first pubic hair sprout out. That was equally as terrifying. I remember dreaming that the next day I woke with a complete 70s afro coming off of my vagina. Still, I laugh at my little, naive and innocent subconscious brain thinking that it would be uncontrollable.
Funny Young Females
I smile as I write this down, as I don’t think I have even told any one that before. The fro man, it was uncontrollable and coming out of my pants… Oh me oh my what a terrible time of life as we come into the most magical aspect of being female.
We hold it in our wombs. And I must say, we hold it well, we show it. Our creatress souls. That lushiousness that everyone wishes they had in some form or another. The figure, the hourglass and the gushiness that we get to walk around this glorious planet with. I just love it.
Magic of Creatress
Women are magical. We hold something that I think is the biggest threat to egos of the other side of human kind… we can create within our bodies. It is by nature that we are born with creativity inside of us. This flows from our every essence as a female. It is divine, and perfect and effortless for most of us. Though a major percentage of women don’t know this continuing cycle of female life to be mild. In-fact, majority of us know exactly when and how it is going to happen.
We start with swelling in the breasts, sometimes painful and can be so enlarging that we feel they are going to escape our bras… then the mood swings, depression and sadness. Anxiety through the roof. Along with bouts of sobbing for no apparent reason, could we be pregnant? Or some that are vastly triggered in ranges of emotions, in my case by a certain form of shitty life partner that I no longer have in my life… weird…
God MUST Be A Woman…
When this supposedly beautiful component of being the lovely female of the world becomes a massive discomfort. It stops feeling like a glorious gift, and starts to fit the mold of an unfortunate curse. This is not, I believe how goddess would want us to feel about our bodies. Not to mention the magic of creation that we hold in our wombs.
Though, ladies, I hear you. I have loathed my uterus at times. I have cursed my emotions and wished them all away. But I always come back to knowing in my gut that these are the aspects of being female that is so amazing. We can connect with one another because of these feelings we so intensely have.
Our bodies can grow a human being inside them. Our uterus supports, nourishes, and loves them until the time is right to bring this tiny body into the light of the sun. Through our vagina, a head, neck, shoulders and torso. All the way down to the feet, they come and we bring them through. Our bodies can do this! How glorious and amazing.
A Different Healing Realm
So why with something so beautiful do we have these amazingly exhausting aspects come through as our moon comes to time when we are not growing humans? Is it natural and normal for our bodies to be in such pain on a regular? I know that in the story of Adam and Eve it was our curse, cycles would be angry, birth time would bring our pain threshold to new heights that we never thought possible, and then in the end, we loose it all and become old hags.
Well. In my time studying spirituality, I know that this can’t be the case. I am going to quote a hearsay, because I am a Western Herbalist, I am not read well on practices or beliefs of Ayuruvedic means, though I aspire to add this to my repertoire… but a Yogi I know did tell me in her studies she found that these ancient beliefs and practices do not consider the pain, nor the emotional fluctuations of the modern female cycle to be normal, or necessary.
New Realms of Ancient Times
When I heard this, at first I was pissed off. I was pissed off because I had been telling myself that it was natural, and normal for women to go through this. Not only myself but I was telling my abusive ex-partner that it was normal, and this made me angry. Then my Herbalist self kicked into high gear. Wait a second ego… why would an ancient tradition of healing not believe that these modern problems of woman be contradictory to what they had known for centuries?
What if it wasn’t normal to have cramps that put me into the fetal position for 2 days, clotting blood falling onto my pads,and an emotional roller coaster ride that felt uncontrollable in certain times for sometimes as much as 10 days. Ugh…it is exhausting just thinking back on when I thought that was normal and an acceptable aspect of my condition in being woman.
Constant Questions…
I am always asking questions, sometimes this gets me into trouble, and people get suspicious, but in my own head and in my practice with herbs it is a trait that is thoroughly useful. So I started to ask myself, for me, not for anyone else, but for me, can we balance this? Is PMS something that I can conquer for my OWN sanity, and well being?
I started to think of cortisol levels, and how those would be rendering wear and tear that was unnecessary. The thought of having smooth sailing all month, in regards to my mood, my internal pain, as well as the health of my blood. Can this truly be something I could get a hand of.
These questions lead me to make greater realizations and correlations between the health of metabolism, the well being of my live and digestive organs. Knowing that in my history of reading my body, and using imbalances that I have found to experiment upon.
Clients seemed to mostly stick to protocols, but my discipline I knew was fully in tact and strong. I decided that it was time to get a hang of my own body first so that in hopes, I could share something glorious, tangible and attainable to my clients, and my community.
It is Time
Now is the time where I do believe that I have found a place of balance and peace with my internal cycle. It has been a year of great cleansing in regards to spirituality, stress at home, and my mind. To bring me to the point where I would find a place of being that was of nature.
A consistent chaos that created a cosmos within my female structure that I feel is the most natural way. Since taking the time and energy to implement thorough yoga practice, stick to my meditation, eliminate abusive external and internal actions, and applying a certain regimen of herbs and food, I have come to the place of not really knowing my cycle is coming until it arrives suddenly.
The Time Has Come
This month I was shocked that it was actually time for my moon. My emotions remained calm, I did not find myself buckled on the floor and in bed for day one while my uterus decided if it was going to let go or not, then the next day wishing I could rest. Nope. None of that at all.
It was calm, it was clear and mostly free of clots, not perfect yet, but enough of a transition to be realizing that I am onto something here, and I am so excited to share what I have found with self exploration and experimentation. Which is offered to you through me, food and plants. This protocol is one that is so simple, but has taken me years to earn discovering it.
Here I am… For you…
I want to share it with you. Please click HERE to purchase the Protocol,with it you will also get two 30 minute consultations with me to discuss your unique situation, I will be your educator, your cheerleader and happy to help with research.
I also encourage you to read It Stops Here. Period. an article that was written in conjunction to this one. Your bonus sessions, and continuing regular sessions can be done in person, over the phone, or on Skype. I very much look forward to working with you in achieving optimal health!
Blessings my loves
