Dear First name / friend, I can feel the sap beginning to flow again… though March is rather early to be feeling spring in Wyoming, it is there in the air. I can hear it in the birdsong through the window as they flutter in the melting pools of snow in the gardens.
The seed house feels warm and Sawyer and I have been spending time preparing that space for the growth of plants that will soon come. With this movement of sap in the trees I can feel my excitement for the growing season coming back. Taking my son into the gardens and teaching him the ways of the Earth from his very first craw, brings tears to my eyes, as this life, truly, feels like a dream sometimes…
Through this deep winter we have had, physically and spiritually, the composting that happened here at the Farm was thorough. Motherhood was the main component of this massive release of what no longer serves for me, especially, though really, our whole family. Questions of what still fits, and what really isn’t working any more were only natural things to ask ourselves as we sat, still in the blanket of winter with our first born Son.
Getting to know our babe, allowing the routines to resurface, and new ones to be discovered. There is a lot that doesn’t really make sense any more, and that is a strange and beautiful place to be in. And now, with the waking of spring, the land is calling our names again, we turn to look, and see that our composted bits are going toward new growth of this beautiful time in our lives.
And, with all of this stirring in US, I feel that not only am I beginning to wake up into a new existence, but the collective is asking these questions too… the deeper commitment to returning to the land, and what is no longer working as a whole… A dear friend reminded me of this, and how much is stirring in us all right now… Lexi wrote…
“ A microdose of the true loss that is finally catching up to us as a species…we do not have new stories, new compass points, new truths to claim…we are in a time where what’s next is unborn, unknown, unseeable… Where will we do our work, where will we gather, who and what are we losing with this change? Will the community we love – even if we rarely visit but just enjoy knowing is there—lose a compass bearing or get distracted? What now?” Read Lexi’s article here…
This returning home, and especially forging a new existence, is not an easy road. Just as this birth into motherhood has not been a straight arrow. Weaving in the apothecary, the big farm, and my gardens, WITH my mothering, at times, is stressful, at times it is like my head is spinning. How is this going to WORK? Then, I find my center, and come back to this one truth: Be Still, and the answers will come…
That which I’ve settled into this winter, being still like the sap, is my new foundation and place to remember what is true. And aren’t we all building a new foundation? We are living in tumultuous times.
So many people I’ve interacted with have questioned whether or not bringing new life into this world, and I call it the true meaning of radical. How can these new foundations SERVE the greater collective? What is our new way of BEING on this earth? All of these are MASSIVE questions, and ones that can only be answered in being still, composting what no longer serves, while continuing to move forward.
This time of crumbling is for quiet time, and the babies coming in are here for it. EVENTUALLY we will find the how, to return to the land, return to nourishing our small communities, and living in a society that is truly for the people and the land. The children being born now will have this integrated into their beings, as we, continue to be still. In five generations, then eight generations from now, a new world will be starting to bud…
This has me sinking deeper into the simplicity of it all. Releasing these big picture questions, knowing that each step I take in composting what no longer serves my now, and my family’s reality, will only allow the deeper answers to be uncovered in their own time. As we all tend to what needs to be composted, we will leave behind us, a rich soil for new growth. A place that deep roots will take hold, and birth what is new, and more nourishing for the collective, and our communities.
With all this composting, and letting go, I am now excited that he is here. Though the foundation shakes now, he will be a part of what creates a new reality for the whole collective.
As the winter stillness begins to quake, Sawyer and I have organized the seed packets for this year’s season of growth. Medicinal herbs, cut flowers, and vegetables for the family gardens will be in the works.
My dear community, there will be small offerings of vegetables from this farm stand in the 2023 season, but the focus is going toward my ultimate love, medicinal herbs and the flowers that complement them…
The Peace of motherhood that has me stirring and standing still, is the simplicity. Allowing myself to let go of pieces of my projects that were draining and weighing on me. Allowing for space, which allows for flexibility, which is truly what I need, to thrive in my new soil bed, now…
Thank you all for being here so very much. It is my absolute honor to be a medicine maker for you all. Thank you for honoring my motherhood too, as I learn how to best show up for my son and our newly formed family.… I do see myself and Sawyer sticking with our bi-monthly Farmers Market schedule for the foreseeable future. With our breastfeeding relationship also budding, it only makes sense.
AND, as the sap gets thinner with the spring water and melting snow, we shall see how the schedule opens up more, stay tuned!
xoxo
Heather, Mak and Sawyer
